IDEATRON see what gabe thinks.

2 STEPS AT A TIME

I have to walk well over 100 steps every day just to get from my parking lot to the office. If there is one thing I have learned from this, it’s that leaping two of those effers at a time is one of the most satisfying things a human being can do, for a cornucopia of reasons: 1) you get where you’re going faster, 2) you get a little exercise, 3) you feel more accomplished than the average, single-step taker, 4) to others, you appear either in a hurry (important) or like a little kid (awesome), and 5) you reduce your carbon footprint by literally making fewer footprints*.

Because single steps are so… unsatisfying: 2 steps at a time = yes.

*disputed

TRASHCAN FORCEFIELDS

It seems like about 40% of the things I try to throw away miss. I am not good at basketball, but I would be if I was 50 feet tall, which is the approximate proportion of me to the average trashcan. I should not miss this much, but somehow my garbage often hits the rim of the can, or goes into the can (victory) only to impact another object and ricochet to no-man’s land (defeat). And throwing away sheets of paper? God, I must have about a 4% win rate in this arena. I am convinced there is no reliable way to throw or drop a sheet of paper into a trashcan successfully. Just try your best and prepare to be infuriated.

There’s only one way to explain this phenomena, and trashcan forcefields = no.

What it means: [???]

What you’re really saying: [???]

When to say it: Apparently when you’re delivering my pizza.

WHAT YOU MEAN/WHAT YOU’RE SAYIN’

Sometimes your conversation partner gets lost in his or her own world. You want to understand why she had to break the cat’s leg to save it; or how he ended the engagement because she was just, like, pissing him off all the time; or how the hundreds of other invisible, parallel dimensions totally explain ghosts, dreams, UFOs, religion, consciousness, and like, all that stuff, no, seriously, it’s like, totally possible, he saw it on Discovery; but… it’s complicated. Just remember, moments like this are what make you a great friend, because you know what he/she’s sayin’.

Now, if I may be bold, please consider my opinion: Anytime someone asks, “Know what I’m sayin’?” or “Know what I mean?”, they know you probably don’t, because even they know what they just said was impossible to follow. Simply reply, “No yeah totally,” and move on.

Because there is no possible way I could: what you mean/what you’re sayin’ = no.

We’re giving away our secrets!

Click here to see how we made our Original Edition of sketchbooks.

Click here to see how we made the Leimgruber Superspecial Edition of sketchbooks.

The Leimgruber Superspecial Edition is featured on NOTCOT!

Check it out, and click the heart because you love it.

Announcing the long-awaited-yet-so-worth-it first extension to the BORED sketchbooks lineup: The Jason Leimgruber Superspecial Edition.With this edition, we’re doing something new. Since each book is 100% original and absolutely unique, we’re giving you the power to choose the one that moves you. You’ll select your favorite cover art when you buy it, and a few days later, you’ll have that exact book in your hands—and only your hands.So grab yours before some other clown beats you to it. Jason only made 50, and only one meant just for you.

We’ve reached a milestone of awesome proportions: 100 members of our Facebook group. How did we get so many? BECAUSE IT IS THE BEST GROUP WITH THE BEST STUFF IN IT.

Haven’t you joined BORED creative people yet? Get real.

With his poetic recounting of how BORED and Sugar Ray joined forces to change his life, Rob took the lead of the Terrible Contest 2 and never looked back. Here, recorded for posterity, is his much ballyhooed prose:

Sugar Ray is my Hero.
I woudl have been a zero.
I almost overslept for my Final.
But then my cell phone got a signal.
Hark, it was Gabe and his stupid contest.
It awoken me to post a poem with hest.
So here I am a poem a posting.
About how I thank Sugar Ray for sucking.

The next Terrible Prize contest is on the horizon. This one’s going to be very sweet!

Hey I made this graph for GraphJam.

I followed all the rules: 1. Take a popular song, 2. Make a debatably funny and ugly chart about the lyrics.

But somehow I am getting completely decimated. 39 people have given me the ThumbsDown™! I haven’t received this many ThumbsDowns since thumbs-down actually meant what thumbs-up means today. I THINK it’s because I took special care to make it perfect, so all the voters think it’s too good to be true, or an illusion. And because I did it in Photoshop with the pencil tool.

ANYWAY go vote for it because even though THEY don’t get it, YOU do.